If you don’t want to break your own heart, then don’t…

1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel. – If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.
2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made. – If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have now, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us prosper, grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for.  Read Emotional Freedom.
3. Take your loved ones for granted. – Someday, for one reason or another, there will be someone you miss dearly.  Missing this person willhave nothing to do with how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, or the amount of time since you’ve talked.  It will be about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish they were right there with you.  So be sure to appreciate every moment you get to spend with the people who matter to you.
4. Let your ego get the best of you. – Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because we value our relationship more than our pride.  When two people who care about each other fight, both are wrong.  They have put some kind of superficial outcome over love and compromise.  The one who apologizes and makes up first, is the one who is right.
5. Get involved in every petty argument that comes your way. – Being strong doesn’t mean you have to stay and fight all the battles and petty arguments that come your way.  Being strong doesn’t mean you have to respond to rude remarks.  Don’t retort by throwing insults back at them.  Don’t bring yourself down to their level.  That’s what they want.  Keep your dignity.  True strength is being smart enough to walk away from all the nonsense with your head held high.  Read The Four Agreements.
6. Join the negativity committee. – No matter how much negativity is thrown at you by others, there is absolutely no need for you to stay put and participate in the self-destruction they choose for their own lives.  You decide how your soul grows.  The extent of your happiness depends on the quality of your thoughts.  So be positive.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.
7. Rush love. – A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.  So don’t rush love.  Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.
8. Hold on to those who don’t want to stay. – It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place.  If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either.  The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
9. Ignore every bit of constructive criticism you receive. – The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts.  So don’t assume that every critic in your life is a hater.  Not everyone is hating on you.  Some people truly care about you, and are simply telling you the truth that you have been subconsciously denying.  Read The Mastery of Love.
10. Give up on yourself. – Maneuvering through difficult times is a lot like driving through dense fog.  You can’t always see where you’re going, you feel a little lost, you want to turn back, and every mile feels like forever.  Yet, scared or fatigued as you might be, there’s nothing you can do but breathe, focus on the road ahead, keep moving forward, and trust that a force with keener vision than yours is out there functioning as your guide

marc and angel hack life

We all like to believe that we are more open mind then we really are. I for example think that I am not judgmental towards most things and am willing to try something at least once. My theory of how open minded I really am has been tested several times within recent weeks, as result of constantly feeling uncomfortable and saying no I have to admit that I am not as open minded as I claim to be. A good example would be my resolve to never drink alcohol. As we all know drinking alcohol on social occasions is common, and as my circle of friends increases I have found myself constantly being offered a drink. I always refuse and end up ordering a fruit drink or a coke, which is always met by surprise or interest as to why I don't drink. The answer is simple I am closed minded to it. How can you say no if you have never tried? Just one drink? are questions that I here every time I step out to meet up with people. When it comes to drinking or using any type of drugs I refuse to allow myself to follow a path I see as being self destructive. I came to the conclusion simply by watching my peers drinking the way they do and nursing severe hangovers and regrets that sometimes being closed minded is a good thing. I am the kind of person that always needs to be in control of every aspect of my  life and if something jeopardizes that I will not even attempt to try it. Being closed minded to things that are not good for you allows you to stay sane. I do not judge people who drink because that is simply a lifestyle choice that they decided works for them, however it doesn't work for me. Funnily enough I often feel judged by my choice not to drink especially because its normal at my age to drink. One drink wont do anything to you so I have been told , but I wont give into peer pressure to be more open minded to something I don't see the point in. I know and have always known how to have fun and enjoy myself and drinking will not enhance the experience I have when I go out wit my friends. My friends are all in their twenties and can not comprehend my stance when it comes to drinking and as much as I try to see their point of view it just is impossible.

One friend equated my attitude towards drinking to her attitude towards gay and lesbian couples. the same way I refuse to drink is the same way she refuses to accept gay relationships I remember her saying. I feel that this instance is when being closed minded is destructive not only to yourself but people around you. Yes I do not drink as a result of my closed mindedness however that is a choice that doesn't negatively affect the way I treat people. This is a form of closed mindedness i pray i never experience. I equate it to building a solid wall around yourself made out of metal. No one can get to you even if they try. I simply will never understand this type of closed mindedness. It is one that is filled with hatred and bias. In fact it makes no sense to hate people simply because they do not conform to your ideal of what a relationship should be. Often people who fail to accept gay relationships hide behind the pretence of being Catholics who are simply following the rules as set out to them by the bible. Catholic religion I believe is based on the principal of Love. Love is the most important theme that can be found as a lesson in every scripture. If this is the case shouldn't people stop playing god and judging other people???? All that is required is to love people even if you do not agree for whatever reason with what they do.I  have several gay friends and I have to say they are some of the best people I have ever met. Imagine if I implored  closed mind I would miss out on meeting people who are loving, fun and dynamic.

Being open minded is necessary in most aspects in life and even though I may not be totally open minded towards all things. I do realise that my view is not the only correct possibility and perspective. I pride myself on being able to listen to other peoples views on limitless topics. Yes I still have my beliefs but I do not impose them on other people because I am willing to accept that although I may not think and feel a certain way, I have to see the validity of other peoples choices. That to me is the definition of being open minded ...

Sometimes I am really grateful for illness.....

Nothing life threatening of course, but the kind that makes you take note of a couple of things. This past week flu hit me up pretty badly, and I was confined to my room ‘two days of bed rest’, doctors’ orders!

The first few hours of the first day where pretty easy, I was that sick. But after a while sleeping gets boring and I am the type of person who gets bored and starts thinking and the one thought that sprung up during this time and that has been with me throughout this week is’ I am too young to be this old’.

Yes...I think the flu helped me discover how and why people age so fast and the real coz of growing ‘old’. See when you are little you cant wait to grow up because then no-one will tell you what to do, you will have your own house, your own car etc.

You grow a little older and then you realise to have all these things you have to work, but that’s still exciting because to you working symbolises freedom.  You watch the ‘adults’ all around you, you hear them complain about how tiring work is and how they have no time to do a, b or c. I never realised until now how much hearing things like this, would impact me personally. I am working now and I hear myself repeating these words... slowly it’s like I am morphed into a robot overnight. And not the cool kind of robot either, actually more like a droid who wakes up goes to work comes home sleeps and repeats 5days a week!  

My body was tired, my mind was tired... ‘I am too young to be this old’. I now believe that you grow old because you became complacent with just waking up and working and finding every excuse not to do something or go somewhere because you are too tired. After a while it’s all you know, it is familiar and it’s comfortable. And sometimes being comfortable is dangerous ‘coz it stops you from ‘growing’. Laying in that bed for two days I managed to contact friends I was starting to neglect, spent time with my family I sometimes take for granted. I realised I wanted to live and not just breathe... I realised that I complain there’s nothing to do in this little old Windhoek but that’s a lie there’s always something to do I just got lazy found excuses and yes this city is small compared to most but my creativity, imagination and thirst for living are limitless. I don’t want to be all preachy about this I just have to release the thought give it life, acknowledge the lesson I think I am learning.  The flu isn’t anything major, its easy to recover from but now I know sometimes you gotta feel crappy in order to take stock of what is happening in your life, you have to have bad days sometimes to force you or challenge you if will, to stop with the complacency, with the excuses and to understand what being alive is all about!

xoxoxox

Womanifesto

Womanifesto

                       -Jill Scott

Clearly I am not a fat ass
I am active brain
And lip smacking peach deep
Sometimes too aggressive in its honesty

And heart sweet
That loves wholly and completely
Whom it may choose
Whom ever it may choose
 
I am not gonna lie and pacify
I am arms to hold
I am lips to speak
I am a motherf****n "G"
 
Strong legs that stroll off the 33 bus
Or out of a money green Phantom comfortably
Knees that bend to pray
Clean from Ajax washings
 
Hair that is thick and soft
Thighs that betwixt
An amazing all expense grand prize
I am eyes that sing
 
Smile that brightens
Touch that rings
And supplies euphoric release
I am a Grand Dame Queen Beast
 
I am warm
I am peace
From the roads of Botswana from 23rd Street
From the inside third eye
 
Ever watching this wicked wicked system of things
I do see
I am friend to pen
And a lover of strong women
A diamond to men
 
I am curious and interested like children
I welcome the wise to teach
Appreciator of my culture
Thick not just from bone dense and eat
 
I have a rhythm in my ways
And a practice in my seek
And yes, I do crave the rhythm of my space
With a man that rejoices in God's Grace
 
With faith I do hear to listen
Two hands that fist
When forced pushes to shove
And your ego won't submit
 
I am gifted
I am all of this
And indeed the shit
Clearly I am not just an ass

Royal baby madness

Sometimes I  feel sorry for people born within the royal family. They will never know the joy of living your life with anonymity and having only yourself to answer to when an event occurs in your life. The world is watching them and even during a moment as unique and special as having a child they are expected to share those details with the rest of the world.  It is obvious that being a monarch brings about several perks.Many people may disagree with me, but i feel these advantages are strongly outweighed by their activities constantly being analysed .When the duchess of Cambridge gave birth to her first child people camped out at the hospitals waiting to catch a glimpse of the new heir to the thrown. Even my office got in on the act by placing bets for the lucky winner who guesses the name of the baby correctly. Just by the scene caused by the birth of this child it is clear to see that every move he makes will be watched and evaluated to see if it measures up to the high standard placed on royalty. All humans are prone to making faults but  even the slightest mistake he makes will  be blown out of proportion and made to seem like a huge scandal.When it comes to William and Kate i like the fact that they fight for their privacy even though its nearly impossible. They seem (and i say seem because i do not know them) to be down to earth and reasonable people, somewhat unfazed by the constant media glare bestowed upon them. Parenting is a hard task by any means, but this royal couple will face an even harder task when raising their baby because of the growing attention and interest people have in the future heirs every move. It will be interesting to see what aspects of this child's life they will share with the public and how far they would go to ensure that his privacy is respected. 

one half on LM squared is a year older

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LWANDO 

They say that you cant pick your family, and every time i look at my sister i thank God for that .I simply couldn't have picked better even if i tried. My sister has all the traits i admire most in a person. She is loyal, empathetic, trustworthy, hard working and fun. 

Ever since i was small i remember wanting to do ever little thing that she did, exactly the way she did it. Funny thing is even though i am older that hasn't changed. She is simply put my inspiration and role model. How can i not admire some one who has managed to accomplish the things she has at the age she has, i mean this girl has two degrees and a masters under her belt. 

MY sister is the first person I call when something good happens in my life or when things don't go my way. She always knows the right thing to say without being told. We have shared every emotion possible together  and the end result is always the same she is and will always be my BEST friend.  My wish for her is that she is always happy and smiling because those are her best traits. She has an unmatched power to make people around her feel comfortable and at ease. I love you and everything you do LWANDO i simply want to say happy birthday and thank you for being you. I realize that God blessed me with my very own angel in the form of you. 

I love you