PUSH IT… TILL IT HURTS!

Transformation isn’t a future activity, it is a Present Event…- Jillian Michaels

2013 has thus far been a year in which transformation has become a big deal to me. I am all about self-improvement, change, personal growth, it’s like my inner new-age hippie has been unleashed!

That being said, I pay attention to everything I do, because there’s a lesson there in the triumphs and in the failures (although I have to point how much I personally despise the word). Anyhow, this week my lesson drew me to the above quotation I chose to start this piece with…in a big way.

You see I heard the amazing Jillian Michaels say this toward the end of a DVD’ workout of hers that I had purchased… see 2013 hasn’t only been about transformation mentally but also its been about transformation in the physical sense, you know keeping my body moving and strong. Let’s face what better way to keep the body through exercise?

Exercise…to think back in primary school when they forced us to exercise under the guise of ‘physical education’ I really hated it and never quite got the point. But somehow through my teenage years and now early twenties I have come to find that I actually really love exercise. Somehow exercising has become a form of therapy for me, I love it…it allows me to dig deep and challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. 

And if you want a challenge Jillian Michaels is the woman to go to. You feel nearly every move she challenges you to do, you want to scream, you want to cry, you definitely want to quit ‘because it hurts it so bad (or so good as she likes to say)…and it’s at the moment you feel you can’t go on that you realise that you actually finished you did the whole workout, it wasn’t perfect, it was downright sloppy but you did it… and it feels so GOOD to admit that to yourself…I  remember that it was in exactly that moment that realisation, that I heard her say those words…’transformation isn’t a future event it is a present activity’.

Amazing, simple but powerful truth… it is easy to hope for things to tell yourself that it will happen and so forth, but sometimes you have to get uncomfortable and make things happen, you going to get frustrated, you going to cry and you might want to quit but when you push yourself a little bit harder and with greater effort you will be amazed at what you have accomplished.

When you set goals for yourself, like keeping fit and healthy or getting that dream job or house… the truth is it won’t always look pretty, it doesn’t always feel good but when you accomplish something, the feeling itself is insanely rewarding and motivational. I guess as you grow and look back at certain points you never thought you could go through, the feeling is the same. So here’s to moving forward when you think you can’t, because those are the moments in which you learn just how strong u are.

The  Notting hill Carnival

I was lucky enough to attend Europe's largest street festival this past weekend and needless to say my expectations were surpassed in style. Huge floats, a jubilant atmosphere and colourful costumes were the order of the day.  Having lived in a small town like Windhoek I always read about carnivals of this scale and often imagined what it would be like to attend one. It was a mixture of different cultures whose different stories where told just by looking at the  visually attractive  floats and elegantly designed costumes.

My journey to the Carnival wasn't easy. I had the same plan as thousands of other carnival goers and as you can imagine travelling was a little bit of  nightmare. Buses were diverted and the main Notting hill tube station was also closed due to the festival. Of course I went with friends as going alone to something like this didn't seem optional, meeting up in a group was made so much more difficult than it should have been due to the masses of people found everywhere. When we finally met up with each other we decided to follow the parade right until it reached the end point. This was a way to ensure that we did no miss any of the astonishing sights on display at the carnival and allowed us to take as many pictures as humanly possible.

 My Only criticism of the carnival would have to be that it was overly sexual in its nature. People were dressed in as little as possible and were grinding all over each other. Alcohol was everywhere and most of the people at the carnival probably will not even remember seeing such an amazing parade.  It somehow made me feel uncomfortable in the beginning but I was able to overlook this minor  part of the event and focus on aspects I enjoyed. I loved the fact that there was a carefree atmosphere during he whole day, people forgot all their problems and came out to do one simple thing, which was have fun. Strangers smiling at strangers  and people being happy for no apparent reason was something I often don't get to see on a normal basis. My favourite part of the event was undoubtedly the food  (jerk chicken, rice, corn) and coconut water which was absolutely refreshing given the hot temperatures of the day. The music was so contagious and even though I am not much of a dancer I found myself moving to the beats of the drums and watching the dancers in the parade in complete awe. Summer is almost over here in London and this was by far the best way to savour the last signs of the sun before the cold strikes in a few months time.

If you don’t want to break your own heart, then don’t…

1. Let people invalidate or minimize how you feel. – If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else lives in your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Don’t let anyone lead you to believe otherwise.
2. Regret every mistake you’ve ever made. – If you regret some of the decisions you’ve made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have now, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us prosper, grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for.  Read Emotional Freedom.
3. Take your loved ones for granted. – Someday, for one reason or another, there will be someone you miss dearly.  Missing this person willhave nothing to do with how long it’s been since you’ve seen them, or the amount of time since you’ve talked.  It will be about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish they were right there with you.  So be sure to appreciate every moment you get to spend with the people who matter to you.
4. Let your ego get the best of you. – Sometimes we choose to be wrong, not because we really are wrong, but because we value our relationship more than our pride.  When two people who care about each other fight, both are wrong.  They have put some kind of superficial outcome over love and compromise.  The one who apologizes and makes up first, is the one who is right.
5. Get involved in every petty argument that comes your way. – Being strong doesn’t mean you have to stay and fight all the battles and petty arguments that come your way.  Being strong doesn’t mean you have to respond to rude remarks.  Don’t retort by throwing insults back at them.  Don’t bring yourself down to their level.  That’s what they want.  Keep your dignity.  True strength is being smart enough to walk away from all the nonsense with your head held high.  Read The Four Agreements.
6. Join the negativity committee. – No matter how much negativity is thrown at you by others, there is absolutely no need for you to stay put and participate in the self-destruction they choose for their own lives.  You decide how your soul grows.  The extent of your happiness depends on the quality of your thoughts.  So be positive.  Some of the best days of your life haven’t happened yet.
7. Rush love. – A good relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future.  So don’t rush love.  Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back.  This is what true love is all about, and it’s always worth the wait.
8. Hold on to those who don’t want to stay. – It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go of, but it’s even more painful to hold on to them if they never wanted to stay in the first place.  If someone doesn’t show you the same love that you show them, and acts as if you are unimportant most of the time, this may be a big clue as to the fact that you don’t need them in your life either.  The only people you truly need in your life are those who respect you and want you to be in theirs.
9. Ignore every bit of constructive criticism you receive. – The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.  A true friend will always speak the truth, even if it hurts.  So don’t assume that every critic in your life is a hater.  Not everyone is hating on you.  Some people truly care about you, and are simply telling you the truth that you have been subconsciously denying.  Read The Mastery of Love.
10. Give up on yourself. – Maneuvering through difficult times is a lot like driving through dense fog.  You can’t always see where you’re going, you feel a little lost, you want to turn back, and every mile feels like forever.  Yet, scared or fatigued as you might be, there’s nothing you can do but breathe, focus on the road ahead, keep moving forward, and trust that a force with keener vision than yours is out there functioning as your guide

marc and angel hack life

We all like to believe that we are more open mind then we really are. I for example think that I am not judgmental towards most things and am willing to try something at least once. My theory of how open minded I really am has been tested several times within recent weeks, as result of constantly feeling uncomfortable and saying no I have to admit that I am not as open minded as I claim to be. A good example would be my resolve to never drink alcohol. As we all know drinking alcohol on social occasions is common, and as my circle of friends increases I have found myself constantly being offered a drink. I always refuse and end up ordering a fruit drink or a coke, which is always met by surprise or interest as to why I don't drink. The answer is simple I am closed minded to it. How can you say no if you have never tried? Just one drink? are questions that I here every time I step out to meet up with people. When it comes to drinking or using any type of drugs I refuse to allow myself to follow a path I see as being self destructive. I came to the conclusion simply by watching my peers drinking the way they do and nursing severe hangovers and regrets that sometimes being closed minded is a good thing. I am the kind of person that always needs to be in control of every aspect of my  life and if something jeopardizes that I will not even attempt to try it. Being closed minded to things that are not good for you allows you to stay sane. I do not judge people who drink because that is simply a lifestyle choice that they decided works for them, however it doesn't work for me. Funnily enough I often feel judged by my choice not to drink especially because its normal at my age to drink. One drink wont do anything to you so I have been told , but I wont give into peer pressure to be more open minded to something I don't see the point in. I know and have always known how to have fun and enjoy myself and drinking will not enhance the experience I have when I go out wit my friends. My friends are all in their twenties and can not comprehend my stance when it comes to drinking and as much as I try to see their point of view it just is impossible.

One friend equated my attitude towards drinking to her attitude towards gay and lesbian couples. the same way I refuse to drink is the same way she refuses to accept gay relationships I remember her saying. I feel that this instance is when being closed minded is destructive not only to yourself but people around you. Yes I do not drink as a result of my closed mindedness however that is a choice that doesn't negatively affect the way I treat people. This is a form of closed mindedness i pray i never experience. I equate it to building a solid wall around yourself made out of metal. No one can get to you even if they try. I simply will never understand this type of closed mindedness. It is one that is filled with hatred and bias. In fact it makes no sense to hate people simply because they do not conform to your ideal of what a relationship should be. Often people who fail to accept gay relationships hide behind the pretence of being Catholics who are simply following the rules as set out to them by the bible. Catholic religion I believe is based on the principal of Love. Love is the most important theme that can be found as a lesson in every scripture. If this is the case shouldn't people stop playing god and judging other people???? All that is required is to love people even if you do not agree for whatever reason with what they do.I  have several gay friends and I have to say they are some of the best people I have ever met. Imagine if I implored  closed mind I would miss out on meeting people who are loving, fun and dynamic.

Being open minded is necessary in most aspects in life and even though I may not be totally open minded towards all things. I do realise that my view is not the only correct possibility and perspective. I pride myself on being able to listen to other peoples views on limitless topics. Yes I still have my beliefs but I do not impose them on other people because I am willing to accept that although I may not think and feel a certain way, I have to see the validity of other peoples choices. That to me is the definition of being open minded ...

Sometimes I am really grateful for illness.....

Nothing life threatening of course, but the kind that makes you take note of a couple of things. This past week flu hit me up pretty badly, and I was confined to my room ‘two days of bed rest’, doctors’ orders!

The first few hours of the first day where pretty easy, I was that sick. But after a while sleeping gets boring and I am the type of person who gets bored and starts thinking and the one thought that sprung up during this time and that has been with me throughout this week is’ I am too young to be this old’.

Yes...I think the flu helped me discover how and why people age so fast and the real coz of growing ‘old’. See when you are little you cant wait to grow up because then no-one will tell you what to do, you will have your own house, your own car etc.

You grow a little older and then you realise to have all these things you have to work, but that’s still exciting because to you working symbolises freedom.  You watch the ‘adults’ all around you, you hear them complain about how tiring work is and how they have no time to do a, b or c. I never realised until now how much hearing things like this, would impact me personally. I am working now and I hear myself repeating these words... slowly it’s like I am morphed into a robot overnight. And not the cool kind of robot either, actually more like a droid who wakes up goes to work comes home sleeps and repeats 5days a week!  

My body was tired, my mind was tired... ‘I am too young to be this old’. I now believe that you grow old because you became complacent with just waking up and working and finding every excuse not to do something or go somewhere because you are too tired. After a while it’s all you know, it is familiar and it’s comfortable. And sometimes being comfortable is dangerous ‘coz it stops you from ‘growing’. Laying in that bed for two days I managed to contact friends I was starting to neglect, spent time with my family I sometimes take for granted. I realised I wanted to live and not just breathe... I realised that I complain there’s nothing to do in this little old Windhoek but that’s a lie there’s always something to do I just got lazy found excuses and yes this city is small compared to most but my creativity, imagination and thirst for living are limitless. I don’t want to be all preachy about this I just have to release the thought give it life, acknowledge the lesson I think I am learning.  The flu isn’t anything major, its easy to recover from but now I know sometimes you gotta feel crappy in order to take stock of what is happening in your life, you have to have bad days sometimes to force you or challenge you if will, to stop with the complacency, with the excuses and to understand what being alive is all about!

xoxoxox