Trend in music : Shock over Substance

I am sick of turning on my television and internet and seeing female artists going to extreme measures to get attention, yes Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga and Nicky Minaj I am referring to you. Being confident and feeling sexy is the prerogative of any woman, in fact there is something empowering about knowing your body and being proud of it. My problem comes in when you force your sexiness on people for no other reason than to sell records.  Most artists of today go through extreme measure to create a buzz around their performances. They take the notion that sex sells one step too far and do not take into consideration that most of us quite frankly have had enough of seeing these desperate measures for attention to last us a life a time.

I think that it is fair to say that all the antics that these women employ during their performances and music videos are a way to distract people from the obvious truth that their talent pool is not up to scratch. Think about it they spend more time on finding ways to shock us and less time on singing songs that have lyrics with meaning or even creating videos that tell a story.

It is comforting when I come across stars like Adele who break the mould and let their voice do the talking. She is innovative and all her success can be attributed to her voice. She has sold millions of records world wide all while keeping her clothes and self respect intact. She shows that it is possible to be successful while relying solely on your talent.

Yes music is a platform for people to express themselves and when done in the right way magic happens. Your body is a tool for expression but like any other tool over use can lead to erosion. Artists need to find a balance when expressing themselves and overexposing themselves. So often the antics are more shocking that we end up talking more about the performance and what they did on stage then the song they were singing.

 Female musicians are looked up to by a variety of young impressionable girls. I have a 12 year old sister and often cringe when i think that these are the idols she has to look up to. Luckily for me she is wise beyond her years and like me seems baffled by some of the music videos that play on TV during the day. I find myself wondering how i would feel if she ever decided to become a musician in this day and age. Would she be encouraged to wear a skimpy outfit and act a certain way in order to be on par with modern day stars? How is it that some of these women act so inappropriately and their family doesn’t intervene? Is the money worth it?

To be fair even Men have taken having a sexy female in their video to the extreme. Think Robin Thicke for a moment and his video for blurred lines. I first heard the song on radio and I cannot lie I actually liked it. Then I came across the video and was so surprised to see a barrage of naked girls being paraded up and down. Shock is the best way to describe my reaction, even worse so when i took the time to actually listen and understand what the song means. Basically he is saying that women often say No but actually mean yes, and that women are unaware of what they want and need a man to show them. The nature of the song is actually offensive as it portrays women as submissive creatures unaware of what they want or need. I have never been one to focus on lyrics actually I like a lot of the songs that I do simply because I have no idea what exactly they mean, but this blurred lines song rubbed me up the wrong way. Come to think about it the video  did the song justice and probably depicted the lyrics exactly the way he wanted them to. The main thing about the success of this song was the shock value, which is what male and female artists seem to be going for these days.

I don’t know about you. But I miss listening to talented musicians that have stories to tell through their music. Recently the only thing I really like about a song is the beat it has, because most of the time the lyrics are absolutely pointless. My playlist consist of songs I listened to back in the day and a handpicked selection of music from 2013. Evidently music has become more about the artists love of fame and money and less about their love of music.

I find myself revisiting a conversation I had with some friends of mine earlier this week..in fact I was firmly put in the hot seat and asked whom I had ‘liked’ more between two best friends, each of whom I had been attracted too and connected with.

This question made me think and I mean seriously think about two different points in my life, because I experienced said connections at different stages in my life.

‘When you connect with someone special, a friend or a lover-this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other, you grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each others growth’- Marc and Angel

I am truly a believer that people are like mirrors, they reflect parts of yourself that you really love and parts of you that you aren’t always keen to look at…literally a physically manifestation of the not so great that yell at you to pay attention!

We meet people and establish connections, in order for us to be somewhat drawn out of ourselves and to grow in someway either by gaining strength, learning courage or the art of vulnerability and appreciating the gifts of giving and receiving not out of obligation but just because its natural.

Connections then are like life lessons in motion and like many lessons they can be hard to understand and even appreciate, until of course you look back and understand (with full clarity sans the victim card) why you met certain people at a particular time.

I met two incredible members of the male species at around the same time. And as soon as I encountered them, an immediate connection with friend A was established. It was a strong attraction, that was riddled with much difficulty but that eventually taught me courage at a time in my life when I was leaving my teenage years and feeling particularly insecure. It was such a strong connection that it transcended into a strong friendship you know those brother-sister types, it’s almost funny to think it didn’t start out that way.

With that said the connection with friend B was different it started out as a friendship that grew into something else years later at a point when I was courageous, secure but living in a cocoon, it taught me the beauty of appreciating how far you have come and most importantly how to ‘live a little’.

I guess what it boils down to is, that it’s hard to say you liked or even loved one person more than the other especially when you appreciate that these two people are different and you yourself, were different in little ways when you encountered them in your life, and each experience was unique no greater than the other.

I think that’s why it is hard for me to internalize the idea that we have one soul-mate in our lifetime, or even that a soul-mate type relationship is necessarily borne out of a ‘romantic’ interest or experience. Hell! ... I could’ve written this post about any number of purely platonic relationships I have experienced with both men and women, that have somehow impacted who and what I am today.

Human connection is a funny thing, in that it goes through various evolutions at times, it doesn’t always last but it teaches you something, it dares you to look at yourself differently and understand your role in the scheme of things, it heals you, it breaks you so that you can become someone better. I can only hope that the people I have connected with have in someway been compelled to see themselves as being better, the same way they have compelled me!

Don't s that word



 

 

A very white friend of mine recently asked me if I ever get offended when I hear a white person use the term N*****. He asked this question in public and as you can imagine everyone around us was quick to reprimand him for using this word. After convincing everyone that I am not offended I spent the next ten minutes trying to explain why that term has absolutely no effect on me.

The history behind the N word is long, vicious and sad. In no way do I want to undermine the pain that this word caused and continues to cause people who take serious offence to it. I really believe that intent is everything when it comes to words that are deemed insults. When the word was used in the segregation era it was used to demean and belittle black people. The term was used by people who had hatred in their hearts and was used in a malice and viscous way. The word is still a reminder especially for the older generation of the pain and suffering that people had to endure in that time.  The intentions behind the use of this word were clear, it was meant to hurt the people it was used against.

The friend who asked me this question is strongly influenced by black culture. He loves watching black TV shows and idolises various black musicians. He is a huge rap fan and everyone who listens to rap music knows that all the big name stars often use the n word for describing other black people. I find it amusing that if he’s singing a song he has to stop every time the word is mentioned. He is conscious of using the word, as he should be. I know a few people who would be extremely offended if they heard him and would go as far as physically assaulting him. My reasoning is we give this word too much power. It is just another word and is by no means a definition of black people. We can’t expect people of other races not to use the word when it is normal for us to use it when referring to each other or when it is a common term in modern music. 

When he uses the word the he doesn’t do so with any ill intent as to him it’s a word he encounters in he’s daily life through he musical taste. When he posed the question to me and I said it didn’t bother me he became comfortable with using the word around me, actually I may get him in trouble by saying we use it to one another from time to time. I don't give this word power. I recognise the power it had in the past but refuse to give it the same power in my future.

PUSH IT… TILL IT HURTS!

Transformation isn’t a future activity, it is a Present Event…- Jillian Michaels

2013 has thus far been a year in which transformation has become a big deal to me. I am all about self-improvement, change, personal growth, it’s like my inner new-age hippie has been unleashed!

That being said, I pay attention to everything I do, because there’s a lesson there in the triumphs and in the failures (although I have to point how much I personally despise the word). Anyhow, this week my lesson drew me to the above quotation I chose to start this piece with…in a big way.

You see I heard the amazing Jillian Michaels say this toward the end of a DVD’ workout of hers that I had purchased… see 2013 hasn’t only been about transformation mentally but also its been about transformation in the physical sense, you know keeping my body moving and strong. Let’s face what better way to keep the body through exercise?

Exercise…to think back in primary school when they forced us to exercise under the guise of ‘physical education’ I really hated it and never quite got the point. But somehow through my teenage years and now early twenties I have come to find that I actually really love exercise. Somehow exercising has become a form of therapy for me, I love it…it allows me to dig deep and challenge myself in ways I never thought possible. 

And if you want a challenge Jillian Michaels is the woman to go to. You feel nearly every move she challenges you to do, you want to scream, you want to cry, you definitely want to quit ‘because it hurts it so bad (or so good as she likes to say)…and it’s at the moment you feel you can’t go on that you realise that you actually finished you did the whole workout, it wasn’t perfect, it was downright sloppy but you did it… and it feels so GOOD to admit that to yourself…I  remember that it was in exactly that moment that realisation, that I heard her say those words…’transformation isn’t a future event it is a present activity’.

Amazing, simple but powerful truth… it is easy to hope for things to tell yourself that it will happen and so forth, but sometimes you have to get uncomfortable and make things happen, you going to get frustrated, you going to cry and you might want to quit but when you push yourself a little bit harder and with greater effort you will be amazed at what you have accomplished.

When you set goals for yourself, like keeping fit and healthy or getting that dream job or house… the truth is it won’t always look pretty, it doesn’t always feel good but when you accomplish something, the feeling itself is insanely rewarding and motivational. I guess as you grow and look back at certain points you never thought you could go through, the feeling is the same. So here’s to moving forward when you think you can’t, because those are the moments in which you learn just how strong u are.