Womanifesto

Womanifesto

                       -Jill Scott

Clearly I am not a fat ass
I am active brain
And lip smacking peach deep
Sometimes too aggressive in its honesty

And heart sweet
That loves wholly and completely
Whom it may choose
Whom ever it may choose
 
I am not gonna lie and pacify
I am arms to hold
I am lips to speak
I am a motherf****n "G"
 
Strong legs that stroll off the 33 bus
Or out of a money green Phantom comfortably
Knees that bend to pray
Clean from Ajax washings
 
Hair that is thick and soft
Thighs that betwixt
An amazing all expense grand prize
I am eyes that sing
 
Smile that brightens
Touch that rings
And supplies euphoric release
I am a Grand Dame Queen Beast
 
I am warm
I am peace
From the roads of Botswana from 23rd Street
From the inside third eye
 
Ever watching this wicked wicked system of things
I do see
I am friend to pen
And a lover of strong women
A diamond to men
 
I am curious and interested like children
I welcome the wise to teach
Appreciator of my culture
Thick not just from bone dense and eat
 
I have a rhythm in my ways
And a practice in my seek
And yes, I do crave the rhythm of my space
With a man that rejoices in God's Grace
 
With faith I do hear to listen
Two hands that fist
When forced pushes to shove
And your ego won't submit
 
I am gifted
I am all of this
And indeed the shit
Clearly I am not just an ass

Royal baby madness

Sometimes I  feel sorry for people born within the royal family. They will never know the joy of living your life with anonymity and having only yourself to answer to when an event occurs in your life. The world is watching them and even during a moment as unique and special as having a child they are expected to share those details with the rest of the world.  It is obvious that being a monarch brings about several perks.Many people may disagree with me, but i feel these advantages are strongly outweighed by their activities constantly being analysed .When the duchess of Cambridge gave birth to her first child people camped out at the hospitals waiting to catch a glimpse of the new heir to the thrown. Even my office got in on the act by placing bets for the lucky winner who guesses the name of the baby correctly. Just by the scene caused by the birth of this child it is clear to see that every move he makes will be watched and evaluated to see if it measures up to the high standard placed on royalty. All humans are prone to making faults but  even the slightest mistake he makes will  be blown out of proportion and made to seem like a huge scandal.When it comes to William and Kate i like the fact that they fight for their privacy even though its nearly impossible. They seem (and i say seem because i do not know them) to be down to earth and reasonable people, somewhat unfazed by the constant media glare bestowed upon them. Parenting is a hard task by any means, but this royal couple will face an even harder task when raising their baby because of the growing attention and interest people have in the future heirs every move. It will be interesting to see what aspects of this child's life they will share with the public and how far they would go to ensure that his privacy is respected. 

one half on LM squared is a year older

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LWANDO 

They say that you cant pick your family, and every time i look at my sister i thank God for that .I simply couldn't have picked better even if i tried. My sister has all the traits i admire most in a person. She is loyal, empathetic, trustworthy, hard working and fun. 

Ever since i was small i remember wanting to do ever little thing that she did, exactly the way she did it. Funny thing is even though i am older that hasn't changed. She is simply put my inspiration and role model. How can i not admire some one who has managed to accomplish the things she has at the age she has, i mean this girl has two degrees and a masters under her belt. 

MY sister is the first person I call when something good happens in my life or when things don't go my way. She always knows the right thing to say without being told. We have shared every emotion possible together  and the end result is always the same she is and will always be my BEST friend.  My wish for her is that she is always happy and smiling because those are her best traits. She has an unmatched power to make people around her feel comfortable and at ease. I love you and everything you do LWANDO i simply want to say happy birthday and thank you for being you. I realize that God blessed me with my very own angel in the form of you. 

I love you

Natural hair is often frowned upon as  being unmanageable and problematic to maintain. There are so many stereotypes and myths out there about natural hair which can easily be dispelled by loving your hair, nourishing it and appreciating it. I have dedicated this blog post to a product I found that I feel helps me do just that. I asked the innovative minds behind Afrorage to give me a little information on what makes the product so good for your hair.

Afrorage works to debunk the myths about natural hair by offering natural hair products, tips and advice to the Southern African market

By Sharon Kasanda

14^th July 2013

Natural hair continues to be a controversy in today’s society. The political, cultural and social implications of having a natural head free from chemical processing is still very much alive in workplaces, social circles and in what our concept of beauty is. I have been natural for three years, and from day one the questions and queries that I got were at times downright incredulous to downright insulting. I was asked why I wanted to stick with my ‘untidy look,’ or that I could not go around town ‘natural’ for fear of embarrassing my counterparts. On the upside, I also had a lot of support from the people around me, and going back to my roots was a great cause for celebration in my immediate circles.

One of the many reasons that women today do not want to grow their natural hair is due to the very popular myths that black hair does not grow, is very hard to take of and is just not the accepted form of beauty in society. Armed with a plethora of negative comments and societal connotations, it is a brave soul who challenges the status quo and decides to grow the curly kinkiness from his or her head, for better or for worse. Although these issues still exists in society today, over the years the natural hair movement has grown. As transitioning to natural becomes the first challenge, the second challenge becomes what products to use; and this is the niche that Afrorage has moved into in the Southern African market.

Finding the right product for your natural hair that does not contain an arm long list of preservatives or other moisture stripping substances can be a very daunting process, and we wanted to eliminate this problem by not only making products that contain only natural ingredients, but that also catered to the specific needs of African women’s hair and that would add the necessary moisture and softness to the hair without resulting in breakage and dryness. This is why we came up with the moisture rich butter and oil blend made of Avocado and Shea Butter, Coconut and Sweet Almond Oil and Essential Oil Blends to replenish natural oils and moisturize the hair.

Created by three nappy haired sisters…and one dreadlocked mother, Afrorage boosts products that contain no preservatives and contain essential oil blends and natural butters to help enhance beautiful, healthy and natural hair. At Afrorage, we aim to debunk the myths that African hair is nothing but a tight angry nest of kink that needs to be straightened into submission, our products allows women to not only take care of their beautiful natural hair, but we also assist them with tips, advice and consultations on how to take care of their hair. Whether your hair is natural, whether you are transitioning, or whether your hair is relaxed, we LOVE your hair at Afrorage.

Although several companies make hair care products, the team at Afrorage noticed that these products not only contain an arm list of preservatives but hardly contain enough of the natural ingredients they claim to have. Not only are all the products of Afrorage made solely by hand, but our products are made from the ‘good stuff.’ We do not make use of base foundations, our products are actually made up of the ingredients. We chose the most beneficial natural ingredients to include in our recipes. The smile on people’s faces when they read the ingredients on the labels says it all.

What goodies Afrorage puts in your hair:

Afrorage’s moisturiser and oil blend are free of sodium lauryl sulphates, polyethylene, glycol, parabens, petroleum, artificial fragrances, dyes, mineral oils and preservatives. The product range includes:

• Afrorage Tropical Hair Butter: this moisture rich butter contains Avocado and Shea Butter, Coconut Oil Blend and Essential Oil blend; it is a great moisturiser, a great hair softener and seals in moisture.
• Afrorage Pure Oil Blend: this pure oil blend contains a Sweet Almond oil Blend and Essential Oil Blend, and is a mixture of pure oils for sealing the hair and ends, adding instant pure moisture to the scalp and hair.

Be part of the Afrorage Community!

To learn more about Afrorage and join the natural hair community;

Visit: www.facebook.com/afrorage and LIKE our page!

Or Email: afroragebeautyessentials@gmail.com for more information, tips and advice from other naturals

Beauty...

This week has been one in which the physical has taken center stage in our train of thought... contemplating beauty a little bit... asking ourselves,

What 'real' beauty is?

Does it have a universal meaning?

Is it the length and thickness of ones hair?

or is it the width of ones' hips....

Is beauty a skin colour? or is it the richness and texture of fabrics and jewellery adorning ones skin?

Perhaps beauty is personal...unique in its meaning and feeling.

Maybe its skin deep, or a rather complex emotion...I mean what if beauty, 'real' beauty lies 'asleep' in the depths of our souls?

can we really give 'beauty' a meaning?

Do we see beauty exclusively, or can we feel it? Do we fully understand or appreciate beauty at all? or do we fall in line and accept that beauty is whatever everyone else says it is.

This is us, just thinking out loud, putting thoughts down on paper 'coz maybe then it will sort of make sense...

maybe it will be the beginning of a movement. A movement in which we invite others to to contemplate beauty with us, to share what beauty has meant to and for them. To destroy this idea that beauty is universal, and looks a certain way....because we have to and dare to believe that beauty... 'real' beauty goes far beyond any vanity that has become such a part of our everyday lives!

''The scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That's it. it cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life, force, possibility, strength or love''- anon

I often wonder how on earth it is that we are enslaved by the idea that somehow our worth is tied to the size that appears on our jeans or the weight that appears on the scale? Like most women I am my own worst critic when it comes to my body.  A recent statistic revealed that 80% of women world wide are dissatisfied with their appearance. This is undoubtedly fueled by constantly being bombarded with unrealistic images of what is apparently considered beautiful. The definition of beauty is often portrayed in a narrow sense in modern society because to be beautiful you need to look a certain way.  However beauty is much wider than it is portrayed and even understood in fact it is a fair assumption that given the diversity of women around the world beauty simply cannot be categorized'.

Who decides what's beautiful???? that's the question I pose to you. Surely beauty is subjective and as a result we cannot sit here and judge not only ourselves but other people. How often do we have a comment to make about the random stranger passing us by in the street, what right do we have to even question or evaluate their beauty. In my honest opinion the image we see around us of tall, skinny drop dead gorgeous models in magazines or on TV will only become more realistic when we as society stop expecting someone to look a certain way before we consider them beautiful. I find it sad when I  see a women starve herself or drastically alter her appearance for the sake of others. Do not get me wrong I am all for self improvement if it makes a women feel good and builds up her confidence. My problem comes in when we use unrealistic benchmarks to live up to. Improve yourself by working what you got, don't feel pressured to alter the very uniqueness of your body. Remember beauty is more than a size, shape, race or gender its something unexplainable that it stems from someone's soul and character, it cannot be measured. 

I have friends who are smaller in size and no matter what they do they struggle to gain weight. As a result of snide remarks and comments about being to skinny they feel pressure to pack on the pounds. Weight is a double edged sword because as we all know bigger built women feel pressured to lose weight in order to be considered good looking. People will never reach a consensus about beauty, because it truly is in the eye of the beholder. The most important thing we as women need to realize is that as long as we are looking after our bodies by being healthy we are recognizing our beauty and preserving it.  I would like to stress the importance  of remembering this one thing, only you have the power to radiate and showcase your beauty. No one has the right to dictate how you should look in order to be beautiful. 

Whilst researching the topic of who defines beauty I came across Doves new campaign. I am not an avid user of the brand but I was rather impressed with the marketing teams approach( I study marketing and wish I  come up with this). They asked a group of women to describe themselves ( or at least how they see themselves ) as honestly as possible to world a renowned  FBI trained sketch artist who was placed behind a curtain unable to see them for himself . Perhaps not surprising all the women used negative descriptions to portray how they looked. For the next part of the project the group of women were introduced to one another and asked to make friends. They later described to the same sketch artist what their new friend looked like.When the two sketches were finished they were placed side by side and shown to the participants. As you can imagine there was a huge contrast in the images, with the strangers images being the most visually attractive of the pair. The campaign highlighted the fact that women are often very hard on themselves and find it hard to see beyond their self perceived flaws, when in actual fact a flaw could be their very source of beauty. The ad also challenges the women to try and see themselves the way others see them. It is important that we realize "beauty is more than skin deep, it is unique grace and confidence a shining light that sparkles thought the eyes and smile, its not what you physically look like its what you project" 

                                                                                                                                                               

TRULY INTERTWINED

Friends

Our friends are a true reflection and an extension of us in every way possible.No deep posts just a little collage of our time together. With quotes that  define our feeling towards our friends.

 A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.
Elbert Hubbard

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
C.S. Lewis

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
Marlene Dietrich

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.
Walter Winchell

 Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.
Euripides

Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
Aristotle

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.
Charles R. Swindoll

 

I SALUTE U MINIBUS

                                                     

                                 

I have been judgmental. In fact i don't know if i have completely removed all judgment from within me but i do know that i am trying.

The amazing thing about growing up..is 'growing' and understanding that u are part of something bigger than you realize or could ever imagine.

I watched a cartoon once and heard the words 'THE BIGGEST ILLUSION IN THE WORLD IS THAT WE ARE SEPARATE' and I finally understood what this meant when i left home for the first time.

Being away from home in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, Cape Town, made me step outside of myself for a moment and made me do as the local 'Cape Townians' do... use the 'notorious' South African public transport system.

Now, before I moved I heard the stories about how reckless taxi-drivers in South Africa generally are, how dangerous the whole public transport system is especially if you were a woman. Boy... did i quickly learn that sometimes you shouldn't always believe what you hear. That being said the transport  system in Cape Town is not something one can easily describe it is something that has to be experienced.

I can tell you this though.. public transport is almost like a gateway into the heart of a city..at least through its people. Cramped up in those minibuses, I encountered all types of people, young folks, old folks, different races, different nationalities you name it and I came to find we are all searching for something, we are all hoping to do better, to be better,  we all just want happiness, love ....a 'good life'. And that sometimes  the difference between a stranger and a friend is a simple smile and hello...

In fact what separates us really? is it our skin color, our backgrounds or is it pure ignorance we all exercise at some point in our lives?

I was afraid to leave home to live in a strange place but I think that's the purpose of traveling sometimes or living differently to what you have always been used to. It teaches you lessons, makes you braver than you thought you could ever be., humbles you, but most importantly it allows you to encounter people you would normally never associate with and these people teach you new languages, new beliefs, challenge your thought process, help break you out of your shell and allow you to feel and i mean really feel like you have a place in this world..and like you could be better, less judgmental, more accepting and more open to a universal experience.

We are no different from each other really, everyone has a story in which we hope for similar things.

There's a bigger story in those taxi that connects different people and its incredible being a part of it.

Wow, I was part of a story i never thought i would be part of and it happened in the most unlikely place...and for that I salute you 'minibus taxis'...

Emotional creature

I am an emotional creature: the secret life of girls around the World. The power of women

Dear Emotional Creature: i believe in you. I believe in your authenticity,your uniqueness, your intensity your wildness. I love the way you dye your hair purple, or hike up your short skirt, or blare your music while you lip-sync every single memorized lyric. I love your restlessness and your hunger. You possess the energy that if unleashed could transform, inspire and heal the world. Everyone seems to have a way that they want you to be-your mother, father,teachers,religious leaders,politicians,politicians,fashion gurus,celebrities,girlfriends. In reporting my new book, i learned a very disturbing statistic: 74% of young women say they are under pressure to please everyone. 

I have done a lot of thinking about what it means to please, to be the wish or will of somebody other than yourself. To please the fashion setters we starve ourselves. To please men, we rush ourselves when we aren't ready. To please our parents we become insane over-achievers. If you are trying to please, how do you take responsibility for your own needs? How do you even know what your own needs are? The act of pleasing makes everything murky. We lose track of ourselves. We stop uttering declaratory sentences. We stop directing our lives. We forget what we know. We make everything OK rather than real. I've had the good fortune to travel around the world. Everywhere i meet teenage girls and women giggling, laughing as they walk country roads or hang out on city streets. Electric girls. I see how their lives get hijacked, how their opinions and desires get denied and undone. So many of the women i have met are still struggling late into their lives to know their desires  to find their way. Instead of trying to please, this is a challenge to provoke, to dare, to satisfy your own imagination and appetite. 

To take responsibility for who you are, to engage. Listen to the voice inside that you might want something different. It's a call to your original self, to move at your own speed, to walk with your step, to wear your color  When i was your age, i didn't know how to live as an emotional creature. I felt like an alien. I still do a lot of the time. I am older now. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be OK with being different, with being this alive, this intense. I just dont want you to have to wait that long. -love Eve Ensler (writer and vagina monologues creator)