The word no is a word i do not like to use often in regards to most aspects of my life. I find that on average i probably say No far less than most people I know. Trying to figure out the reason for this i have come up with countless theories some flattering to my character and others obvious  flaws. At the end of the day saying no is unavoidable and as much as i may wish i could help everyone who asks me for a favor out it is not possible without over extending myself.  People detect Yes people very easily and unfortunately the climate of the world we live in is that when you find yourself saying yes all the time even against your better judgment you will encounter people who abuse your seemingly kind nature. I have definitely come in contact with my fair share of people who use the fact that i don't like letting people down as open season asking me for help even when it is clear that i can barely handle my own duties yet alone dealing with added pressure that is not my responsibility.  Ask anyone who knows me personally and i think they would tell you about my willingness to help. As I grow older I have come to the realization that as uncomfortable as i feel saying No when someone asks for my help, It doesn't make me a bad person it just means that I recognize my limitations which is something I never used to do. Taking on other peoples problems/ responsibilities  or you name it can be a heavy burden that can take a tole on a person. the moral of this post is the affirmation that yes its ok to say no especially when you want to. 

Make a list

This week I decided to be spontaneous and do something i once considered a complete  waste of time. To be quite honest I still do not totally see the logic behind this but hey there is no harm either. So i decided to dictate my destiny by writing a clear list of the things i expect my future husband to like. Funnily enough writing this list took me all but five minutes and it amazed me that subconsciously i know exactly what i am looking for. There are certain things i wont compromise on but they are a few that I am willing to overlook.

What brought about this list is a question I keep asking myself. Maybe its the fact that I am single in my twenties and everywhere I turn someone I know is in a relationship of some sort. Seeing people you grew up with settling down makes you question a lot of things especially when its all going to happen for you, when it does what will it be like and furthermore your expectations. Come to think of it every girl needs a list  that her dream man should aspire too. Some may call it being picky, but as far as I am concerned  knowing what you want saves you wasting your time with someone who wont give you the things that make you happy. I have seen it so many times we as women being afraid to openly say clearly what we want out of fear of being labelled a defamatory term that people seem to use way to freely when a girl is clear about her intentions. Needless to say my list did include an element of financial stability and no that doesn't make me a gold digger, in fact on the contrary I would never pursue a man based solely on the contents of his bank account. Being in my twenties I am exposed to the fact that love does not pay the bills, so i want someone who is ambitious enough to aim to their full potential. Someone who wants to work hard and make money, because I am that kind of person too. 

My list includes many superficial elements and i am not ashamed to admit that, most of this however is not set in stone. I also realize that living up to my list is not going to be an easy task but i have a vision of sitting down ten years from now looking at my list and being in awe of how lucky i am that my list manifested itself,. Ask and you shall receive they say, and i am a huge believer in the power of positive thinking on the big scale of things. 

So what will I do with my list??? The plan is to keep its under lock and key and only remove it when someone special comes along. So i wont touch it even if it take 20 years, because as far as i am concerned when it comes to something as volatile and fragile as a womens heart preparation is key. And No i wont be revealing my list to anyone...

But I do challenge women who happen to read this blog to do the same. Sit down and look into your soul to uncover exactly what you deserve. Put it down on paper and let destiny do the rest

xoxox