My sister and I have very different opinions and feelings, anyone who knows us well can attest to that. When I was younger I couldn’t deal with the fact that she didn’t agree with the things I would say and as you can imagine it often led to arguments, heated debates and a few hours of not speaking to one another. Now that we are older I have learnt to embrace our differences and even take comfort in them. Imagine how boring it would be if we constantly agreed with each other, we wouldn’t challenge each other thought processes the way that we do now. It’s funny but I am starting to see that within all our differences several similarities are present in our underlying principles. If you read the articles on our blog I think it is clear to see this reflected.

People often ask me why I decided to start a blog with my sister when we both could easily have done it alone. Who doesn’t want to undertake an adventure of any kind with their best friend? Sometimes I find myself unable to come up with a new idea to write about and immediately my sister is there to pick up the pieces. She gives me ideas and makes me challenge myself and myself imposed restrictions. Since undertaking this endeavour with her I have found that I have broken free of certain fears I had about voicing my opinion completely. I am far more articulate than I was even less than a year ago as in the past I was afraid to voice my opinions because I didn’t want to hurt any ones feelings or create any sort of unnecessary debate. However I can now recognise that there is no such thing as unnecessary debate and that Humans in general are curious creatures who were given a certain intellectual capacity that no other living organism was, surely for a reason.  In the few short months that we have been doing this I have experienced personal growth in every sense of the word. With every article we post I find myself becoming more confident in my writing ability as well as my analytical thinking. Expression is key when it comes to blogging and writing about something your passionate about is a great starting point. When we started our blog my sister and I agreed not to limit ourselves. We write about anything that is on our minds at the moment and as our blog progresses so does our range of articles. Actually thinking about all the things we can achieve through this blog excites me beyond comprehension.


xoxoxoxo

 

So, why do you want to get Married?

“Heterosexual relationships seem to lead only to marriage, and for most poor dumb brainwashed women marriage is the climactic experience. For men, marriage is a matter of efficient logistics: the male gets his food, bed, laundry, TV, pussy, offspring and creature comforts all under one roof, where he doesn't have to dissipate his psychic energy thinking about them too much - then he is free to go out and fight the battles of life, which is what existence is all about.
But for a woman, marriage is surrender. Marriage is when a girl gives up the fight, walks off the battlefield and from then on leaves the truly interesting and significant action to her husband, who has bargained to 'take care' of her. What a sad bum deal.” –Tom Robbins

I swear this is an in your face opinion! It does many things, it upsets you mostly because it makes sense, and it makes you wonder a little bit which is a good thing...right?

I am at the stage of my life where so many of my peers are getting married. This stage is also accompanied by many people giving you the look...u know the one that subtly questions when you too are going to ‘get serious’ and get married!

I am also at the stage where I know a lot of people mostly young women, who are excited about the prospect of getting married, but lately I am paying attention to that excitement. And more and more it appears that they are excited about the wedding, and I am no expert when it comes to marriage but I believe there’s a difference between a wedding ceremony and an actual marriage.

While I have no immediate plans to get married soon, I think it’s important to ask yourself at some point ... ‘Why do I want to get married anyways’? 

If I have to look at a religious point of view to understand why one is expected to get married, then I understand that Christianity (I reference Christianity because it is the religion I am most familiar with) teaches that marriage is a holy covenant before God. “The marriage ceremony, is meant to be a public demonstration of a couple's commitment to a covenant relationship” which emulates the relationship between Christ and the church.[1]

Traditionally, it is something we are taught to anticipate and prepare for, you see we learn that at some point in our lives we are expected to leave our parents homes and start a new family and home with another person. Marriage it seems is the highest commitment plane a couple can reach…but is it the ultimate experience?

I ask this, because I live in world that despite its modernity, subtly suggests to you what is expected of you as a wife or even as a husband. Roles are assigned to you… they are traditional practices in Africa (and probably other parts of the world) that teach you what you must do in order to be considered a good spouse! And really it’s overwhelming to me at least because there are billions of people in the world, how then do you suggest all these people will fit a religious or traditional expectation of what makes someone a good spouse.

At the same time, I grew up in a house where I witnessed a healthy marriage up close, between people who aren’t as traditional as you would imagine (hence the freedom I have to question the whole institution of marriage). And witnessing my parents’ give each other room to grow, whilst growing together, maintaining a friendship for over twenty years and constantly working on their relationship, I have always believed that the marriage they have is something I would want to aspire to. It has been and continues to be something beautiful to aspire too, but as I said I am at the point where I am seriously questioning why I would want to get married. “What does marriage mean to me?”

The funny thing is that when you ask around, a lot of people want to get married, but no-one can really tell you why. Others like to say that we have lost the meaning of marriage today… but I think we have failed to ask ourselves what marriage means to us personally, what we expect according to who we are again personally! And so we get married because it’s what’s expected of a ‘serious person’ or because 'we are getting old now', or 'we are at the right age to be married'.  We don’t ask ourselves this question, and we don’t ask our partners what their views are in this regard.  And then we get shocked that we are in a relationship we didn’t sign up for…And lets face it, compared to a normal dating relationship, its a lot more expensive (financially and emotionally) to walk away from a marriage that isn’t working or meant for you.

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[1] Mary Fairchild http://christianity.about.com/od/whatdoesthebiblesay/a/marriagecovenan_2.htm

The happiness Factor

With just over three months left of 2013 I have started reflecting on whether or not I have achieved all the things I set out to achieve in the beginning of the year. Many people may find it hard to believe but on top of my agenda was to be a happier person. This may not seem like the most innovative resolution in the history of New Year’s resolution, but in my mind it would lead to a positive outlook on other avenues in my life.

I generally am happy, but I will admit that I have my moments like any other person where my happiness is not reflected in my actions. It is hard to always maintain a happy attitude for 365 days but I have found that it’s not impossible.  So at the risk of sounding like a preachy self help author I thought it would be appropriate to share with you, a few tips on being happy everyday for the rest of your life.

 

·         Smile through it all

This may seem like impossible advice especially considering the fact that life throws several situations at you that are no laughing matter. I remember when a friend of mine went through a trying time, as her father had passed away. She was extremely depressed as you can imagine. My advice to her was that her father would want her to draw back on all the memories that they shared and to celebrate his life. I told her to take solace in the fact that her dad will always be in her life guiding her through every situation she may encounter. Months later she came and told me that as sad as she was upon reflecting on some of my words her heart was smiling. Perplexed at the thought I asked her what she meant and she told me that he was in her spirit making her smile constantly. Yes smiling during certain situations is a huge task to ask but a certain attitude can make even the most unbearable situation that much more bearable.

·         Be kind to others

There is something that is very comforting about making another person, even a random stranger smile. Someone once told me that character is measured by how you treat people who can do absolutely nothing for you.

·         Appreciate all you have

The good things in life outweigh the bad, but we often forget that when we find ourselves in difficult situations. I know for a fact that I am blessed. My biggest blessing would have to be my family as I can always count on them for support of any kind. It’s easy to take something as consistent as their love for granted and it pains me to say that I may have been guilty of doing so one time too many. I try my best to always remind myself that people would kill to have the kind of happiness my family provide me. Appreciation of all the blessings I have been given has definitely upped my happiness factor.

·         Know the true meaning of happiness

Happiness is not just a feeling it’s an action. If you want or claim to be happy you need to radiate happiness wherever you may go and in whatever you do.

 

The truth is we only have one life to live, so my question to you is why not live it at your optimum happiness. I know that 60 years from now when I am not only reflecting on the past year but on my life as a whole I want to able to say that I lived a happy fulfilling life and have the people around me agree.

Xoxox

I have discovered a herbalist… a medical herbalist right here in Windhoek, Namibia.

  I am actually pretty excited about it, and I have been telling everyone about her and its drawn different responses from a number of people. The one reaction that seems to have been expressed by at least 90% of the folks I have spoken to about her, is ‘A herbalist…do u mean a witch doctor?’

And no I haven’t discovered or procured the services of a witch doctor. I am just part of a generation that’s had enough of taking pills or modern medicines in fact I feel they make you sicker. But I am also part of a continent that is rich in traditional healing methods. It is to my understanding that there have always been people who were skilled in the art of using plants and organic material (without chemical additives) to heal ailments.

I also understand how what has always been done has somewhat been discredited, and undervalued and preference been given to modern chemical medicine as if it’s somehow better. And let’s face it you would believe modern medicine is much better if you believed all those adverts wealthy Pharmaceutical peddle through the media. But I am not here to discredit them, I am here to pay credit, where it’s due!

This woman (the herbalist as I fondly call her) came recommended to me by my friends’ boss, and I admit before I went for a scheduled appointment I had no clue what to expect.

And so when I entered her office, and found a warm, inviting and comfortable space I was immediately put at ease. Her bookshelf is full of books on ancient practices in the east on herbal healing, and books on natural herbs indigenous to Africa. She also grows her own ‘herbs’ and organic plants which she uses in her treatments. The herbalist herself has to be the most eccentric person I have ever met, like a character out of a harry potter movie.

As we go through the appointment, she spends time getting to know me and understanding what kind of healing I am after. I tell her about the menstrual pain I have been subjected to for over a year and immediately she identifies that I am missing key vitamins in my diet but also she recommends a herb that I should drink on a daily basis for at least 8months just to ease and stabilise the pain.

It’s been over a month now and I kid you not the herb she prescribed (yes prescribed, she is a medical herbalist licensed and everything) for me, has so far done the following: substantially reduced the pain and left me feeling more energised and happier!

Now maybe it is all in my head, but thanks to her I am appreciating a science that has been forgotten but that still persists and still has much value.