I find myself revisiting a conversation I had with some friends of mine earlier this week..in fact I was firmly put in the hot seat and asked whom I had ‘liked’ more between two best friends, each of whom I had been attracted too and connected with.

This question made me think and I mean seriously think about two different points in my life, because I experienced said connections at different stages in my life.

‘When you connect with someone special, a friend or a lover-this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other, you grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each others growth’- Marc and Angel

I am truly a believer that people are like mirrors, they reflect parts of yourself that you really love and parts of you that you aren’t always keen to look at…literally a physically manifestation of the not so great that yell at you to pay attention!

We meet people and establish connections, in order for us to be somewhat drawn out of ourselves and to grow in someway either by gaining strength, learning courage or the art of vulnerability and appreciating the gifts of giving and receiving not out of obligation but just because its natural.

Connections then are like life lessons in motion and like many lessons they can be hard to understand and even appreciate, until of course you look back and understand (with full clarity sans the victim card) why you met certain people at a particular time.

I met two incredible members of the male species at around the same time. And as soon as I encountered them, an immediate connection with friend A was established. It was a strong attraction, that was riddled with much difficulty but that eventually taught me courage at a time in my life when I was leaving my teenage years and feeling particularly insecure. It was such a strong connection that it transcended into a strong friendship you know those brother-sister types, it’s almost funny to think it didn’t start out that way.

With that said the connection with friend B was different it started out as a friendship that grew into something else years later at a point when I was courageous, secure but living in a cocoon, it taught me the beauty of appreciating how far you have come and most importantly how to ‘live a little’.

I guess what it boils down to is, that it’s hard to say you liked or even loved one person more than the other especially when you appreciate that these two people are different and you yourself, were different in little ways when you encountered them in your life, and each experience was unique no greater than the other.

I think that’s why it is hard for me to internalize the idea that we have one soul-mate in our lifetime, or even that a soul-mate type relationship is necessarily borne out of a ‘romantic’ interest or experience. Hell! ... I could’ve written this post about any number of purely platonic relationships I have experienced with both men and women, that have somehow impacted who and what I am today.

Human connection is a funny thing, in that it goes through various evolutions at times, it doesn’t always last but it teaches you something, it dares you to look at yourself differently and understand your role in the scheme of things, it heals you, it breaks you so that you can become someone better. I can only hope that the people I have connected with have in someway been compelled to see themselves as being better, the same way they have compelled me!